— I’ve been thinking it over and in light of my forty years experience in legal jurisprudence, I have come to the positive conclusion that there ain’t no way to do this legal and honest. But being good sensible Texans, we’ll do it illegal and dishonest! Now all the boys here in the room have agreed to sign a paper that I have prepared. So they all are going to commit perjury — that’s legal language for just a plain, dumb blasted lie.